Momma, Who Is That Man?

The Colored Man loves music of just about any genre, with the exception of rock, heavy metal, and perhaps country and western, even though I do like country swing, and have been known to purchase a bluegrass cd.  I grew up in a household with lots of music - jazz, soul, gospel, and was exposed to classical music in school.  At the age of around 7, my brother and I had our own small collection of jazz recordings.  This was back in the day when albums were made in different colors, and I remember my favorite was a Dave Brubeck album in red.  I think that I played that thing daily, so much that the grooves of the album became worn down.

Music was a big part of my earlier years.  My mother loved music, but she also had a secret that would not be revealed until I was around 11 years old.  The secret was that she could sing, and sing very well.  At one point during her college years, she sang with Louis Farrakhan before he became the leader of the Nation of Islam.  After she began to sing again, her humming and soft singing was a staple around the house and in the car.  Although gospel music was her staple, she would occasionally sing some jazz, and could scat like Ella, and do vocalese like Sarah.

As a result of my mother and her incredible singing voice, the Colored Man has always had an appreciation for the female singer, however, I also like a good male voice, just not as much.  Oprah has her favorite things, where she gives out expensive gifts to her studio audience.  It's called, Oprah's Favorite Things. 

So here are the Colored Man's Favorite Male Singers, and in no particular order:

Alejandro Sanz - I don't speak a word of Spanish, except a very basic hello.  So, when Mr. Sanz sings, I don't know what he is saying, but I can hear the heart and soul that he puts into his music, which is something that I can understand.

Luciano Pavorotti - classical music's gift to the world of opera.  King of the High C's.

Johnny Mathis - I was listening to him the other day, and it is amazing how he took a simple song like Wonderful, Wonderful and used it to showcase his perfect diction and his vocal range, particularly at the end of the song.  By the way, a great Mathis album is Open Fire, Two Guitars.  Every time that I have played this album, someone always asks, "who is that?" and then want to know the album name.

Isaac Douglas - an overlooked gospel music singer, who always sang with conviction and honesty.  His gospelized version of Anne Murray's You Believed in Me, shows his versatility and well as the influences in his musical life.  His albums are very hard to get, but there are videos of him on youtube.

Donny Hathaway - Donny, Donny, Donny!!!  Gone too soon.  Gritty, down-home, and soulful.

Jimmy Scott - a jazz pioneer with an extremely unusual male voice, who never fails to surprise with his phrasing and musicality.  When others would go from major to minor, he goes from minor to major.

Jonny Lang - rocking, soulful, blue-eyed and able to wail on a guitar.  He mainly sings rock, but also has been known to rock the mic with a little gospel too.

Glenn Jones - I had to give a shout out to one of D.C.'s greatest.  Beautiful, hard-driving tenor voice, and it's magical when he goes up into his falsetto.

Bobby Darin - what makes Bobby Darin a great singer, in my opinion, is that he had a great voice, but could also sell the hell out of a song.  He also recorded at a time when great music was being made.

So, this is my short and sweet list of favorite things.  Unfortunately, this is not Oprah's ultra-luxe list, but I guarantee you that if you listen to some of these great singers, you will holler with delight just like Oprah's guests when her favorite things show is announced.

The Colored Man

Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

The Colored Man was much perplexed when the President Obama haters raised hell because he made a video encouraging school students to study and work hard in school.  I was even more perplexed when school districts put up restrictions and barriers in allowing their students to watch the video.  I believe that this type of brouhaha was uncalled for, and completely out of line.  All President Obama was doing was giving some much needed wisdom and encouragement to students.  Trust me it is much needed.

The Colored Man has the privilege of going into alot of schools in the county in which I live.  These schools encompass public, private, parochial, and charter schools.  They run the gamut from urban to suburban.  I see well-to-do schools, where the PTA raises $150,000 per year, and I see schools where the teacher never meets a child's parents.  The contrasts are like night and day, and the academic performance at these various schools could be like comparing hot to cold, or sweet to sour.  The Colored Man sees it all-I see schools with large minority student populations, and no minority teachers; I see academically superior schools with all white school staffs; I see one minority school superintendent, no minority food service directors or facilities managers; I see schools with a plethora of extended educational opportunities for their students, and schools with very little to offer their students.  I see outstanding teachers, and teachers who really need another career.   In a days time, what I witness and hear in the schools can be dizzying and depressing.

In my state, all students must pass a graduation test in order to receive a diploma, the exception being students with special needs. Students begin to take the test in the 10th grade, and can continue to retake any failed tests, until after they finish the 12th grade. Since we all know that the Colored Man is perpetually poor, I took on a part-time job grading the graduation tests.  I was assigned math questions to grade, and after qualifying to grade the questions, I could have closed my eyes and just continually clicked the zero score with my mouse, as only about 20% of the students taking the test were able to correctly answer the question.  Here is the first question that I graded.....

While attending a meeting, John needs to park his car from 10:00am - 4:30pm.  The three parking lots nearest the meeting charge the rates shown below.
Parking Lot                                First Hour                              Additional Hour
A                                                   $3.00                                        $2.30
B                                                   $4.00                                        $2.00
C                                                   $5.00                                        $1.70
In your Answer Document, determine which parking lot would charge John the smallest amount.  Show your work or provide an explanation for your answer.

The next question that I graded was a geometry problem that should have been covered in the 8th grade.  The question dealt with isococles triangles.  Once again, I could have closed my eyes, and just  clicked zero over, and over, and over.

In a recently released assessment, the National Assesment of Educational Progress tested 52,000 students in reading and 49,000 in math across 1,670 school districts in 2009.  In reading, students scored below the 1992 average of 292.  Thirty-eight percent of 12th grade students were classified as at or above the "proficient" level, while 74 percent were considered at or above "basic."  A big achievement gap still remains across racial and ethnic groups.  There was no significant change in the score or gap in reading for black and or Hispanic students since 1992.  White and Asian students both scored higher than they did in 2005.

Asian students scored an average of 298 points in reading in 2009, higher than any other group.  Overall math scores rose from 150 to 153, an improvement, but still nothing to brag about.  In the 11 states that volunteered to participate, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and South Dakota had higher scores in both subjects than the national average.  Two states, Idaho and Illinois, had scores that were higher in reading but not significantly different in math.  New Jersey had a higher math score but a similar national reading score.  Three states scored lower in both subjects: Arkansas, Florida and West Virginia.

Barry McGraw, of the International Organization for Cooperation and Development, says, "the US remains atop the "knowledge economy," one that uses information to produce economic benefits.  But, education's contribution to that economy is weaking, and you ought to be worrying."  The report based its conclusions about achievement mainly on international test scores.  They show that compared with their peers in Europe, Asia and elsewhere, 15-year-olds in the United States are below average.

Below Average!!!!!!!! and some of us have the audicity to reject the President's message, simply because we don't like his political positions and philosophies.  But the truth cannot be denied, as one only needs to get a job grading achievement tests to see first-hand, just how far behind our students truly are.  Our students are losing and lagging, and in years to come this position will have great effect on our economy.  In fact, it's already happening.  Ask yourself, what economy is booming, while ours is busting?  Answer that question, then look at the achievement levels of their students.

The Colored Man says, speak on Mr. President, you ain't never lied!!!, and encourages everyone to get involved in their local school district.  After all, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Now, let's see if you are smarter than a 5th grader, or in this case, a 10th, 11th. or 12th grader.  Send your answers to the above-referenced question to thecoloredman@gmail.com.  The first person with the correct answer will receive a present chosen especially for them!!!, and the rights to brag about being just as smart as 20% of high school students in the Colored Man's state!!!!

The Colored Man

Treating Mr. Tom Like A Lady

As Thanksgiving is approaching, the Colored Man's heart turns to being extra thankful and my stomach is beginning to rumble, and my mouth is starting to salivate just thinking about all of the delicious food that we be spread on the table.  But, the Colored Man realizes that he must approach the table and its' delicacies with trepidation and moderation, or else his friend Cabana Showboat will seek vengeance.

So in order to slow the process down, I have decided to give you a quick primer on the history of Thanksgiving in America, even though a day of thanks is celebrated in many countries across the world.  After that we will go into some of the unctuousness of the holiday.

We all know the story of the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Indians, and how the Wampanoag saved the Pilgrims asses, by feeding them, which led to the first day of Thanksgiving in America.  I do wonder however, if the Wampanoag would have offered the hand of kindness if they knew that the Pilgrims and their progeny would kill them, take their land, and use their culture and symbols in the derogatory manner that some of us do?-but, that is a post for another day.

Eventually, this day of thanksgiving caught the eye of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who thought that moving the day to later in the month of November, would increase the push to go Christmas shopping, and fire up the economic engines.  Thus, on December 26, 1941, he signed into law a bill, making Thanksgiving a national holiday and settling it to the fourth Thursday in November.

Thanksgiving has always been a day to show gratitude, but it has also been used to show prosperity of a household, which led to enormous amounts of food being cooked and served.  In my family, my paternal grandmother was a prosperous business owner and could afford oysters for her dressing while her neighbors could not, so her house received lots of visitors to taste "Pigs" oyster dressing. 

Now, let's move on to the eating.

The Colored Man doesn't really like to buy his turkey from the supermarket, as I prefer to go to my local turkey farmer and purchase one.  There are several reasons why.  Mainly, I like the option of weights available, the turkey is fresh and ready to go into the oven, and thirdly, I like the drive out to the country to purchase it.  Of course, one could always order an heirloom turkey, which is rather expensive, but quite trendy at the present moment.  Now once you get the turkey home you can bake it, brine it, braise it, fry or barbecue it.  You can even smoke Mr. Turkey.  I prefer to cook mine in the oven, but first it needs to "marijinate" a little bit, so I use a prep method that I call, "trash-bag turkey."

First, I take some Dijon mustard, some fresh chopped sage, rosemary, oregano, thyme, some fresh lemon juice, salt and pepper, and place all the ingredients into a food processor.  Once everything is well blended, I slowly drizzle in olive oil until the mixture is emulsified.  Then I taste and adjust my seasonings.  Next, I very gently use my fingers to go under the skin of the turkey, and work my way around to the thighs, to lift the skin from the meat of the turkey.  Yes, this may be a tom, but he likes being treated like a lady!!!!!, so go gently or you will tear the skin!!!!!  Next, I generously slather the marinade inside and outside the turkey.  Then I truss it, and put it into a trash bag, and let is sit in the fridge for at least 24 hours.

Trussing is the process of tying the turkey up, so that the meat is keep tight and compact, which allows for even cooking.  Another reason to truss, is so that the legs of the turkey are not splayed open when you take it out of the oven.  Yes, the Colored Man does get perverse delight in practicing his knot-making skills, but this time it is for the sake of presentation and not titillation.  A gap-legged turkey completely downgrades the presentation score - what could have been a perfect 10, quickly loses points when presentation is less than stellar.  So please truss Mr. Tom.  He will appreciate it and your guests will ohh and ahh!!!

Stuffing or dressing, whichever name you prefer to use is one of the Colored Man's specialties, and I can only blame it on my grandmother's influences.  I make my dressing in a separate pan, mainly due to the fact that stuffing a turkey can be culinary poison.  Stuffing a turkey or any poultry for that matter, poses health risks if it does not reach the proper temperature inside the breast meat.  It must reach the correct temperature in order to kill bacteria and other culprits.  Personally, I do not want my guests going home sick, and I know that you don't either.

We can thank our Victorian-era brothers and sisters for the addition of cranberry sauce to the Thanksgiving table.  For some reason, their taste buds ran toward the sweet and savory side of the street, thus, we have the sweetness and tartness of the cranberry sauce served alongside the savoriness of turkey and dressing.  In some regional American homes, cooks will also serve sauerkraut with their turkey.

Speaking of cranberry sauce, I cannot stand the gelatinous, fake-colored canned concoction that has become a staple in too many damn households at this time of year.  Why serve canned, when it is so simple and easy to make fresh cranberry sauce.  My mantra is "fresh trumps canned."  I fully realize that some of my readers may be challenged in the kitchen, but fear not, the Colored Man is here to help.  Here goes.....
Buy a bag of fresh cranberries, rinse and remove any berries that don't look too good
Place them in a small pot and add one cup of water, and say, a half-cup sugar
Bring to a rolling boil.  The cranberries will begin to pop.  Remove from the heat, let the sauce cool to room temperature, then refrigerate.
For a variation, you could add chopped apple, pear, lemon or orange zest, or reconstituted dried cherries or apricots that have been soaked in brandy or cognac.  Cranberry sauce is one dish that you cannot mess up.  Give it a try!!!

Of course no Thanksgiving would be complete without some dessert, and the Colored Man's stomach has a weakness for good old-fashioned, made from scratch coconut cake, or some sweet potato pie.  Since living in Cincinnati, I have also grown quite fond of chess pie as well.  I am totally in love with the layered British dessert called trifle, which I kick up a notch or two with roasted pears and Amaretto.  Trifle requires a special serving dish, which just adds to the panache of the dish and gives it visual electricity and sizzle.

As you can tell and taste, the Thanksgiving harvest is plentiful, and each one of us would be remiss if we didn't take a few moments to say thank you to our Higher Beings for blessing us.  Blessing us throughout the days, months, and years.  This is a time of great stress for so many families across the world.  Please take a few moments to think about the little old lady who lives up the street by herself, and if you do nothing else, at least take her a plate of food.  In fact, just go to the store and purchase food for her to fill her cupboards.  To whom much is given, much is required.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers around the world!!  Enjoy the day with your family and friends.

The Colored Man

Can I have Some Change, Please?

This past week has been full of changes and new beginnings.

It started on Sunday morning when my walk/run partner, confidante and brother, the Negro Man, a friend that I have run/walk with for about 10 years, told me that he had been forced to make some changes in his life.  We talked about the changes, and of course, the Colored Man gave him his opinions about the change.  For the Negro Man, it is a devastating life change, one that I really feel he knows deep down inside is needed for him to grow and to have full control over his life, and the things that really make him happy.

When I arrived home, I received news that I was going to have to make some changes as well.  My change is something that I knew needed to be made, and being forced to take those necessary steps, is just what the Colored Man needed, as I do suffer occasionally from the dreaded  disease named procrastination.  As I thought about my morning, I had to laugh and think to myself, "all this shit before 12 noon."

Change is the ever-evolving component of life.  It is a necessary part of all of our lives, and makes life just a little bit more exciting.  What is really challenging is how we accept the difficult challenge of change, and how we learn and grow while making those changes.  When I analyze my situation, I am in it simply because I did not listen to what people were telling me, and instead chose to follow a path that I thought was so noble.  I made mistakes.  It wasn't until I got myself into an untractable situation that I remembered what my barber told me one time.  His words were, "when you give everything to someone, you create a monster."  Another friend told me that "sometimes you need to change to get away from people who need to change".  Both statements are so true. The untractable situation landed me in a position that just seemed to snowball, which lead to being somewhere that I did not want to be.  It put me in an environment that was down-right funky to say the lest, and completely not to my level of taste, sophistication, and personal satisfaction.

But change is good.  Change causes you to reach deep-down and pull out those reserves that you thought weren't there.  It allows you the opportunity to learn, listen and grow, and to realize and understand that this is just a passing storm, that you are fully capable of paddling through, faster and stronger than before .  It also lets you know who your real friends are, and those who are just around to ride the good-times wave, and gives you the chance to "trim the fat", so to speak.

The Colored Man and his confidante/brother, the Negro Man, are both having to face a storm, that neither was expecting or really prepared to deal with right now.  Basically, we settled and got complacent, when we should have been preparing all along for this storm.  But guess what?, we are both strong men of color, who were raised to believe in ourselves and to take charge, and we don't allow others to dictate to us how our lives will operate.  We are respected, not disrespected.  We stand strong and tall, like mighty oaks.

So in reality, these readjustments are just what we both needed to reassert ourselves as leaders of our lives, who are ready to step up to the plate, face Mr. Change directly in the face and say, "Make My Day!"

The Colored Man says to all: be strong, be brave, be courageous.

Footnote: A week later, the Negro Man was visited by a surprise.  I know that these special bundles of joy just reaffirmed that he is loved and cared for, and has a special place in people's lives. My brother, this is all a blessing in disguise and the best is yet to come.  Let it flow.