Dear Readers,
It's been about 7 months, but the Colored Man is back!!! Special thanks to my old college friend, for giving me that extra little kick to get things rolling again. Here goes....
The Colored Man works from home quite alot, and one of my vices is television, and the morning shows. Many years ago, I seriously considered law school, but just did not have the courage to follow through, thinking that I didn't have what it took, academically, to be successful, even though years later I took a law class, and earned an A-. So I guess in reality, I just needed a little push and some self-confidence.
One of my favorite programs to watch is In Session, which provides live and taped, gavel-to-gavel coverage of court cases around the country. In an earlier life, it was called Court TV, and is where people like Star Jones first got her feet wet in mass media, providing expert legal commentary on the cases. All last week they featured the case of West Virginia v. Chic-Colbert.
Ethan Chic-Colbert, 21, was the on-again, off-again romantic liasion of Ms. Lynitrah Woodson, 32.
The long story is this....Ms. Woodson took her son, Jahlil Clements, 11, to the new skating rink in town, along with her infant child by Mr. Chic-Colbert, as well as two of Jahlil's best buds. Mr. Colbert got upset with Ms. Woodson while at the rink, due to the fact that she was talking to another man and his wife. On the way home, Mr. Colbert began to violently punch Ms. Woodson in the face and head, while she was driving on the busy interstate. She stopped the vehicle in the middle of the highway, and Mr. Colbert, got out of the vehicle, drug Ms. Woodson out, body slammed her onto the ground and began to kick and stomp her in the head.
Witnessing all of this, Jahlil jumps out of the car, and goes into the middle of the interstate, and attempts to flag someone down to help his mother. Jahlil is hit by a car, and is killed. Mr. Colbert runs away, and is subsequently arrested, and charged with domestic battery, kidnapping, felony murder, child neglect leading to death, and child endangerment. The judge throws out the kidnapping and felony murder charges, but sentences Mr. Colbert to consecutive terms for the other charges. He will be eligible for parole in 6 years, but could serve up to 30 years. Additionally, when released, he has 25 years of extended probation.
Now the short story is this.....cougarette-in-training meets young thug. Young thug eventually shows his true colors, and changes cougarette's life forever.
Mr. Chic-Colbert is definitely where he belongs, but the Colored Man believes that Ms. Woodson needs to take some responsibility for her actions, and for putting her family in this situation. You see, Ms. Woodson made a fatal error in dealing with her thug....she got dick-matized. Dick-matized is just like being hypnotized, except you're lured into a state of not thinking via a dick, versus by a watch on a chain. It happens all the time. Watch television in the morning like the Colored Man, and you will see it on all the judge shows. Damn, they have all become millionaires due to people like Ms. Woodson becoming dick-matized. It's an epidemic!!! Last week, Judge Milian heard a case of a woman who moved in with a guy, three weeks after meeting him on an online dating site. She was suing him, because guess what? Things didn't work out, and he threw her stuff away. Her reason for this rash behavior?..., at 27 years old, she was getting old, and wanted a man. The next case being featured on In Session is a double murder case, South Carolina v. Lynch, involving a good 'ole church lady who hooks up with a "wolf in sheep's clothing." She and her five-year old granddaughter are dead. Where are the bodies? Only the wolf knows, and guess what? He ain't talking.
Ms. Woodson knew that Mr. Colbert was a thug. All she had to do was look at the tattoed tear drops on his face, the gang symbols on his neck, arms and hands, and immediately know that this is someone who I should not get involved with on an extended level. Why bring this type of man into your household to influence your son negatively, and to make matters worse, why have a child by this thug? I mean, be a Dreamgirl...."one night only, one night only...that's all I have to give," and keep it moving. Even young Jahlil knew that Mr. Colbert was no good, and had recently told his mother that he didn't want him around anymore. But once you've been dick-matized, it's hard to break the spell.
I fully understand why someone like Ms. Woodson would fall under the spell. It's all about loneliness and low self-esteem. For some, it's also about economic security/insecurity. 26 million women have trouble buying food each month; 32 million have trouble paying rent each month; 1 in 10, between the ages of 18-64 rely on Medicaid; children of single mothers are 5x's more likely to live in poverty.
Did you know that every 15 seconds a woman is battered in her home?
Did you know that battery is the single major cause of injury to women?
Did you know that 2,000-4,000 women are beaten to death yearly? (www.strengthenoursisters.org)
The Colored Man just brought up two issues that need to be examined: loneliness and economics. Trust me ladies, it doesn't matter if you are old, young, fat, short, tall or whatever....you are beautiful in your own right, and your Prince Charming will come along someday. The economic situation is in your hands, and the solution is pretty simple. Get an education, so that you can make enough money to take care of yourselves, without needing a thug in the picture.
Ms. Woodson has finally gotten out from her dream involving Chic-Colbert, the man who she testified she wanted around to be a role model for her son. But man, what a price she had to pay to break his hold on her. The Colored Man would say that perhaps it was a price too high to pay. An unnecessary cost. An avoidable cost.
We all learn from life, and the message that we all should get from this tale is that, "all that glitters is not gold". To paraphrase Pheobe Taylor Wallingford, a fictional character on the long-running daytime soap opera, All My Children, "Brooke, a bad man is worse than no man at all."
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
The Glamorous Life
This past week much has been discussed and analyzed regarding Hillary Rosen's statement that Anne Rommey has never worked a day of her life. The Colored Man really doesn't understand what all of the fuss is about, and why The White House residents and employees jumped to Mrs. Romney's defense. I know that I am going to upset some of my reader's with the following statement, but this is my blog, so I can write what I want to write.
Hillary Rosen didn't lie, and I will tell you why she didn't lie. In my humble opinion, staying at home and raising kids is not all that hard to do, and I don't think that it really should be equaled with the work that women do outside of the home, and the struggles that many face in trying to juggle career and family. Most of the women that I know who don't work, actually lead quite glamorous lives.....shopping, lunching, volunteering, early morning walks/runs in expensive jogging clothes with babies in even more expensive strollers, play dates, cooking dinner and cleaning house. This is not real work. This is actually trading your services for the security of a house and some spending money, and hoping and praying that your support system doesn't decide to trade you in for a newer, less-saggy model.
Real work consists of receiving a paycheck for working in an office from 9am-5pm, and having to meet deadlines, write reports, conduct meetings, participate in training classes, and deal with people that you don't really give two poops about. Real work requires being able to juggle getting yourself dressed in the morning, as well as the children, feeding them, getting them on the bus, and then getting yourself to the job on time. Real work is having a sick child at home and still having to field calls from work, or finish that report, or having to travel out of town for work while your child has the chicken pox.
If Anne Romney's work is real work, then damn, the Colored Man needs to be re-born as a woman, cause I am tired as hell of having to work. Y'all know I like the glamorous life and with a husband like Mittens who brings in $20 million per year, I could definitely do some cooking, cleaning, and shuttling. Taggart, Matthew, Joshua, Benjamin, and Craig would have each had their own individual nanny, chaffeur, homework helper, and I would have supervised in between my shopping, and horseback riding. Can't you just see me in my manse with the elevators for cars supervising the domestic staff, while making arrangements for Oribe to fly in on the private jet for my daily hair appointment? When people would ask me if I enjoyed being at home all day with my six boys, I would reply, "I don't work, I am doing my life-calling, and it's my passion!"
My mother worked all of her life making the journey from cotton fields to first-grade classrooms, and I think that if she were still living and I asked her if she ever wanted to be a housewife, she would probably look at me like I was crazy. She probably would go on to tell me that I am not sitting at home and waiting for "man-support," when I can go out and earn my own money and do with it as I please. I am quite sure that at some point while talking with my sister, she warned her to never be dependent on a man for survival.
Her attitude is the opinion of most modern women in today's world, who have no desire to harken back to the days of June Cleaver who was always elegantly dressed and coiffed just to cook breakfast and wash dishes. But most women have never had the opportunity to play June, particularly women of color, so I know that this notion of housewifery is completely alien to my black, brown, and yellow sisters. They may dream about it, but I know my fellow colored brothers and we are just not going for that my sisters. If you got 2 legs, 2 arms, 2 eyes, 2 hands, 2 feet....if you got 2 of anything, you need to be bringing some money into the house. Our mothers raised children and worked jobs, you can do the same.
A woman who works and brings in a paycheck is actually setting herself up for security in the future. How many older women are living in poverty because they trusted a man to love and support "'til death do us part." only to be disillusioned when they are served with divorce papers and left with absolutely nothing. They are left with no marketable skills, no education or irrelevant education, and are barely surviving. The choice to stay at home and raise your kids is an individual family choice, but women need to recognize that it comes with potential perils.
The big picture in all of this is the fact that Mitt Romney wishes to cut support programs that will have a drastic and negative impact on women. The picture is much bigger than Ann and her so-called, "work," because she will never, ever have to rely on social programs for survival. It's about women being financially independent, and able to have proper health care, food, and educational opportunities for themselves and their children. Staying at home and raising children and waiting for "man-support" every two weeks, puts you at great risk. Is that a gamble that women should take? I say, NO!!!
Well, it's time for the Colored Man to go. I have some work to do, and I need to do some reading on re-incarnation. Do you think I should come back as a brunette or blonde? I am thinking blonde like Anne Romney, as she seems to live the glamorous life!!!
Hillary Rosen didn't lie, and I will tell you why she didn't lie. In my humble opinion, staying at home and raising kids is not all that hard to do, and I don't think that it really should be equaled with the work that women do outside of the home, and the struggles that many face in trying to juggle career and family. Most of the women that I know who don't work, actually lead quite glamorous lives.....shopping, lunching, volunteering, early morning walks/runs in expensive jogging clothes with babies in even more expensive strollers, play dates, cooking dinner and cleaning house. This is not real work. This is actually trading your services for the security of a house and some spending money, and hoping and praying that your support system doesn't decide to trade you in for a newer, less-saggy model.
Real work consists of receiving a paycheck for working in an office from 9am-5pm, and having to meet deadlines, write reports, conduct meetings, participate in training classes, and deal with people that you don't really give two poops about. Real work requires being able to juggle getting yourself dressed in the morning, as well as the children, feeding them, getting them on the bus, and then getting yourself to the job on time. Real work is having a sick child at home and still having to field calls from work, or finish that report, or having to travel out of town for work while your child has the chicken pox.
If Anne Romney's work is real work, then damn, the Colored Man needs to be re-born as a woman, cause I am tired as hell of having to work. Y'all know I like the glamorous life and with a husband like Mittens who brings in $20 million per year, I could definitely do some cooking, cleaning, and shuttling. Taggart, Matthew, Joshua, Benjamin, and Craig would have each had their own individual nanny, chaffeur, homework helper, and I would have supervised in between my shopping, and horseback riding. Can't you just see me in my manse with the elevators for cars supervising the domestic staff, while making arrangements for Oribe to fly in on the private jet for my daily hair appointment? When people would ask me if I enjoyed being at home all day with my six boys, I would reply, "I don't work, I am doing my life-calling, and it's my passion!"
My mother worked all of her life making the journey from cotton fields to first-grade classrooms, and I think that if she were still living and I asked her if she ever wanted to be a housewife, she would probably look at me like I was crazy. She probably would go on to tell me that I am not sitting at home and waiting for "man-support," when I can go out and earn my own money and do with it as I please. I am quite sure that at some point while talking with my sister, she warned her to never be dependent on a man for survival.
Her attitude is the opinion of most modern women in today's world, who have no desire to harken back to the days of June Cleaver who was always elegantly dressed and coiffed just to cook breakfast and wash dishes. But most women have never had the opportunity to play June, particularly women of color, so I know that this notion of housewifery is completely alien to my black, brown, and yellow sisters. They may dream about it, but I know my fellow colored brothers and we are just not going for that my sisters. If you got 2 legs, 2 arms, 2 eyes, 2 hands, 2 feet....if you got 2 of anything, you need to be bringing some money into the house. Our mothers raised children and worked jobs, you can do the same.
A woman who works and brings in a paycheck is actually setting herself up for security in the future. How many older women are living in poverty because they trusted a man to love and support "'til death do us part." only to be disillusioned when they are served with divorce papers and left with absolutely nothing. They are left with no marketable skills, no education or irrelevant education, and are barely surviving. The choice to stay at home and raise your kids is an individual family choice, but women need to recognize that it comes with potential perils.
The big picture in all of this is the fact that Mitt Romney wishes to cut support programs that will have a drastic and negative impact on women. The picture is much bigger than Ann and her so-called, "work," because she will never, ever have to rely on social programs for survival. It's about women being financially independent, and able to have proper health care, food, and educational opportunities for themselves and their children. Staying at home and raising children and waiting for "man-support" every two weeks, puts you at great risk. Is that a gamble that women should take? I say, NO!!!
Well, it's time for the Colored Man to go. I have some work to do, and I need to do some reading on re-incarnation. Do you think I should come back as a brunette or blonde? I am thinking blonde like Anne Romney, as she seems to live the glamorous life!!!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
....And The 2012 Pulitzer-Prize for Fiction...Goes To......
The Colored Man is no writer. I just pretend to be one. I will never win any prizes. It seems that I am not capable of creating chapter after chapter of words, that when put together create a cohesive body of written entertainment. But who knows, they say that everyone has a great novel in them, so maybe I do as well.
In order to be a great writer, one must have a vivid imagination, and be able to convince people that your fictional account is actually something that they should read and imagine that it just could possibly be a true story. The characters that the authors create are interesting, intriguing, and bring a new viewpoint to the reader. The written word creates a visual for the reader and carries the reader's imagination away from their everyday lives. The story can be completely created in the writers mind, or as E. L. Doctorow styles his writing, created based upon fiction and non-fiction; a combination of actual people, places, and events, stirred together with imaginary occurrences.
There have been some great writers of fiction throughout history, names such as, Morrison, Baldwin, Dumas, Wilde, Wharton and a host of others easily come to mind. The latest to join the pantheon of great fiction writers is George Zimmerman, who has created a fantastical tale of mythic proportion, and international notoriety.
Mr. Zimmerman comes to the world of fiction by way of "murder most foul" to coin a phrase penned by Agatha Christie. As the main character in his own tale of flasehoods, Mr. Zimmerman has penned an unbelievable saga that started on a dark, rainy Florida evening. His story pits him against a young, black teenager, named Trayvon Martin. Mr. Zimmerman was armed with a gun, while performing his duties as a Barney Fife-esque neighborhood watch commando. Mr. Martin, was armed with a bag of Skittles, and an Arizona ice-tea. The evening ends with Mr. Martin shot in the chest and dead, with Mr. Zimmerman claiming self-defense.
As with any great piece of fiction, all of the action happens between the first and last pages, and this story is no different, except that the main character and his words and actions don't create a cohesive story. Alot has been deliberately left out of the story, so as to confuse the reader and give one a false sense of great honesty.
Mr. Zimmerman would want us to believe that an unarmed teenager who weighed about 150lbs, was able to knock his muscular, slightly pumped-up body to the ground, pin him down, punch him repeatedly in the face, and bash his head against a cement sidewalk. Hours later when Mr. Zimmerman exits the polie car quite easily, the cameras show not a trace of any type of trauma to his face or his head. As a matter of fact, his clothes don't even appear to be disheveled in the least bit. He's talking and acting quite confident after murdering someone' child.
Dear readers, please do not take the Colored Man's word....I want each of you to find someone who will aggressively and viciously throw you to the ground, punch you in the face, and bash your head onto the sidewalk. I guarantee you that you will have blood everywhere. In fact, if you don't have any bruises or a possible headache, or black eyes, or blood on your clothes, then send me a picture and I will send you a grand prize of nothing. Nothing, because you would be telling a damn lie, and I am not rewarding liars.
Most characters have a sidekick. D'Artagnan had Aramis and Pathos. Scarlett had Mammy. Silas Marner had Eppie. George Zimmerman had the Sanford Police Department. Sidekicks are the ones who aide and abet the main character. Sometimes they are the protagonists, while other times they provide insight into the story. Now the Sanford Police Department is very important to Mr. Zimmerman's story in that they seemed to have automatically believed his story from start to finish. We subsequently find out after reading a few more chapters, that Mr. Martin's body was tested for drugs and alcohol, while Mr. Zimmerman was allowed to return home without so much as a urine test.
All great writers do research before they write. Even the lowly Colored Man does research before he quotes information in his blog. I do it because I want to make sure that what I am asking you to read is factual, and research based. Mr. Zimmerman did no research, and it is evident because his fairy-tale is slowly unraveling. Since he was negligent in covering his lies, he didn't know that the voices on the tape could be analyzed. Remember he told us to believe that it was him yelling for help in the 911 call. Well guess what, folks? Independent voice-analysts have confirmed with over 90% accuracy that the voice screaming for help is not George Zimmerman. Also remember, that according to his story, there were only two people at the altercation, himself and Trayvon. So, whose voice is it yelling for help? The analysts have said that at the present time they cannot say that it was Trayvon, only because they do not have a sample of his voice. But the Colored Man would bet money that his mother still has his cellphone with his voice saying hello, leave a message, and it will be compared to the voice on the tape. It seems that perhaps that chapter of this story will need the editor's red pen!!
Mr. Martin has given us an unfinished novel, so he has asked others to finish it for him, and they seem to be on the same path of dishonesty that he is on. His brother can't explain the blatantly racist sotto voce "f....ing coon" statement heard on the 911 tape, except to say that perhaps the tape was doctored by the media. His father relates, "oh no, George can't be racist, he was raised in a multi-cultural house, and he's white Hispanic". Notice how the Hispanic part is qualified as being white, rather than just Hispanic? Interesting. The right-wing media has taken up his cause with their usual veiled racism, even though this story is so much bigger than race. Others have attempted to blame the victim, "he shouldn't have been wearing a hoodie."
If there are any high-points to this story, they would be that it has opened up dialogue on so many issues that affect America; gun control, laws enacted based upon the "stand your ground doctrine", racial profiling, law-enforcement collusion and ineptitude, and citizen activism.
What ever happens with Mr. Zimmerman, one thing we can all count on is that he will not win the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. But the Colored Man believes that he will win an award, and that award will be....(drum roll, please) .................
Florida's Best White-Hispanic Prison Bitch for 2012 and many years to follow.
In order to be a great writer, one must have a vivid imagination, and be able to convince people that your fictional account is actually something that they should read and imagine that it just could possibly be a true story. The characters that the authors create are interesting, intriguing, and bring a new viewpoint to the reader. The written word creates a visual for the reader and carries the reader's imagination away from their everyday lives. The story can be completely created in the writers mind, or as E. L. Doctorow styles his writing, created based upon fiction and non-fiction; a combination of actual people, places, and events, stirred together with imaginary occurrences.
There have been some great writers of fiction throughout history, names such as, Morrison, Baldwin, Dumas, Wilde, Wharton and a host of others easily come to mind. The latest to join the pantheon of great fiction writers is George Zimmerman, who has created a fantastical tale of mythic proportion, and international notoriety.
Mr. Zimmerman comes to the world of fiction by way of "murder most foul" to coin a phrase penned by Agatha Christie. As the main character in his own tale of flasehoods, Mr. Zimmerman has penned an unbelievable saga that started on a dark, rainy Florida evening. His story pits him against a young, black teenager, named Trayvon Martin. Mr. Zimmerman was armed with a gun, while performing his duties as a Barney Fife-esque neighborhood watch commando. Mr. Martin, was armed with a bag of Skittles, and an Arizona ice-tea. The evening ends with Mr. Martin shot in the chest and dead, with Mr. Zimmerman claiming self-defense.
As with any great piece of fiction, all of the action happens between the first and last pages, and this story is no different, except that the main character and his words and actions don't create a cohesive story. Alot has been deliberately left out of the story, so as to confuse the reader and give one a false sense of great honesty.
Mr. Zimmerman would want us to believe that an unarmed teenager who weighed about 150lbs, was able to knock his muscular, slightly pumped-up body to the ground, pin him down, punch him repeatedly in the face, and bash his head against a cement sidewalk. Hours later when Mr. Zimmerman exits the polie car quite easily, the cameras show not a trace of any type of trauma to his face or his head. As a matter of fact, his clothes don't even appear to be disheveled in the least bit. He's talking and acting quite confident after murdering someone' child.
Dear readers, please do not take the Colored Man's word....I want each of you to find someone who will aggressively and viciously throw you to the ground, punch you in the face, and bash your head onto the sidewalk. I guarantee you that you will have blood everywhere. In fact, if you don't have any bruises or a possible headache, or black eyes, or blood on your clothes, then send me a picture and I will send you a grand prize of nothing. Nothing, because you would be telling a damn lie, and I am not rewarding liars.
Most characters have a sidekick. D'Artagnan had Aramis and Pathos. Scarlett had Mammy. Silas Marner had Eppie. George Zimmerman had the Sanford Police Department. Sidekicks are the ones who aide and abet the main character. Sometimes they are the protagonists, while other times they provide insight into the story. Now the Sanford Police Department is very important to Mr. Zimmerman's story in that they seemed to have automatically believed his story from start to finish. We subsequently find out after reading a few more chapters, that Mr. Martin's body was tested for drugs and alcohol, while Mr. Zimmerman was allowed to return home without so much as a urine test.
All great writers do research before they write. Even the lowly Colored Man does research before he quotes information in his blog. I do it because I want to make sure that what I am asking you to read is factual, and research based. Mr. Zimmerman did no research, and it is evident because his fairy-tale is slowly unraveling. Since he was negligent in covering his lies, he didn't know that the voices on the tape could be analyzed. Remember he told us to believe that it was him yelling for help in the 911 call. Well guess what, folks? Independent voice-analysts have confirmed with over 90% accuracy that the voice screaming for help is not George Zimmerman. Also remember, that according to his story, there were only two people at the altercation, himself and Trayvon. So, whose voice is it yelling for help? The analysts have said that at the present time they cannot say that it was Trayvon, only because they do not have a sample of his voice. But the Colored Man would bet money that his mother still has his cellphone with his voice saying hello, leave a message, and it will be compared to the voice on the tape. It seems that perhaps that chapter of this story will need the editor's red pen!!
Mr. Martin has given us an unfinished novel, so he has asked others to finish it for him, and they seem to be on the same path of dishonesty that he is on. His brother can't explain the blatantly racist sotto voce "f....ing coon" statement heard on the 911 tape, except to say that perhaps the tape was doctored by the media. His father relates, "oh no, George can't be racist, he was raised in a multi-cultural house, and he's white Hispanic". Notice how the Hispanic part is qualified as being white, rather than just Hispanic? Interesting. The right-wing media has taken up his cause with their usual veiled racism, even though this story is so much bigger than race. Others have attempted to blame the victim, "he shouldn't have been wearing a hoodie."
If there are any high-points to this story, they would be that it has opened up dialogue on so many issues that affect America; gun control, laws enacted based upon the "stand your ground doctrine", racial profiling, law-enforcement collusion and ineptitude, and citizen activism.
What ever happens with Mr. Zimmerman, one thing we can all count on is that he will not win the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. But the Colored Man believes that he will win an award, and that award will be....(drum roll, please) .................
Florida's Best White-Hispanic Prison Bitch for 2012 and many years to follow.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Dear Mom and Dad........Love, Trayvon
Dear Mom and Dad,
I am no longer with you, and I miss you all so much. I know you know what happened to me...I was murdered by someone who mistook me for a thug. He didn't realize that you all had raised me to be an honest young man, who loved his family and God. He couldn't have known that I was an A and B student in school. That I had dreams and goals. He didn't know me, so he had no idea that I loved football, baseball, basketball, horseback riding, math, and science. I loved hanging out with my family and friends, listening to music and talking for hours on the phone with my girlfriend.
I was walking back from the store and was talking on the phone. I had a feeling that this man was following me, so I slowed down a little bit, and he slowed down. I got a little scared, but I didn't want to run because I thought that running would only make him follow me more. So, I started walking faster, and he eventually caught up with me. I turned around, and asked him why was he following me. He asked me what was I doing here? I said that I am going home, and then he reached for me and grabbed me. I swing away from him, and started yelling for help, hoping and praying that someone would hear me, and come out and get me away from this crazy man. He pulled out a gun, and shot me. No one came to my aid.
When the bullet hit me, it felt like a truck had hit me while going about 100 miles per hour. I could feel my chest exploding, and felt my blood oozing. I tried to breathe, but I just couldn't seem to catch my breath. Eventually nothing came out...and my eyes rolled back into my head, and I remember falling. But I didn't hit the hard ground.
Mommy and Dad, there were angels all around me in beautiful, pure white robes. They slowly lifted me and I began to feel as if my inner core, my soul was rising up with them. They were singing this beautiful song that could have only come from some celestial place. Some place of perfect peace. All my pain and hurt disappeared. I am in Heaven now.
Mom, I see you every night crying when you lay down to go to sleep. I see you too, Dad. Don't cry for me, I am doing fine. Heaven is a wonderful place, and everyday is a day of joy and happiness. I know that you and everybody misses me, but I will see you all one day. I am counting on it. I know that you all wanted to see me graduate from high school and college, and get married. I wanted that too. I wanted to go to the prom this year. I wanted to play on the football team at school. I wanted so much, but God wanted me too.
I do have some requests of you all and everyone who reads this letter that I am writing to you. Please, please, please do not let what happened to me, happen to any other 17 year-old African-American male. In fact, don't let this happen to anyone. Create a movement that will make people not judge us by the color of our skin. Create a movement that will cause our nation to look at how they treat people. Create a love movement. Create a justice movement. Create something that makes people remember me forever and a day. My life may have been short, but make it stand for something.
I love you Mom and Dad, and thank you for everything. Remember my smile, remember my laugh, remember me as your loving son. I may be gone, but my spirit is with you.
Love,
Trayvon
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Proust Questionnaire: Rick Santorum
The Proust Questionnaire is a monthly feature in the magazine Vanity Fair. So, for this posting, the Colored Man decided to interview Rick Santorum and get his answers to a few Proust questions. Now I must admit that Mr. Santorum's response to all of my questions was, "no comment" so I was forced to provide answers that I thought he might give to the questions. So here goes.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Fooling my fellow Republican voters, and making them think that Americans will vote for my crazy ass to be president. That, and being everyone's God and morality dictator.
What is your greatest fear?
Having to relinquish the key to my daughters chastity belts when they get married.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Well, Colored Man, I can't just chose just one, so I have a few. Hitler, because he was crazier than I will ever be allowed to be. Sadaam Hussein, because he killed all of the infidels, which is something that I would like to do here in America, and finally, anyone who didn't go to college, because college brainwashes students.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Purchasing birth control pills for my wife, since she has a medical condition and needs them for her health. But I do use my health insurance to cut down on the cost.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Talking incessantly and not knowing when to shut-up. I usually just can't answer a question with a simple response. I have a tendency ro go on and on, and really express my true feelings and beliefs, which makes me look ignorant. America has a president whose theology is devilish, and colleges brain- wash students, and sometimes you have to go along with the team, even when you don't agree. I don't know why i wear sweater-vests, but they make me look sexy. Speaking of sex, people should only have sex when they want to have a baby. People should home-school their children. My grandfather was a coal miner, so I am a coal miner's son. Believe it or not, I went to law school. And black people shouldn't be on food stamps. I am like Mitt Romney, I believe that corporations are people, and I don't care about the poor either. See how I just go on and on.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Having an open mind.
On what occasion do you lie?
Whenever I am talking about President Barack Obama.
What is your greatest regret?
That I allowed Dan Savage to define my name, before I had a chance to define it. You can visit http://www.spreadingsantorum.com/ to read how he defines me. He is actually not very far off the mark to be honest.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Anyone who wants their country back.
Which talent would you most like to have?
The talent to lead this country as president.
What is your current state of mind?
Crazy, neurotic, psychotic....definitely in need of some medication. Can birth control pills help me?
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Well, my wife and I have perfected the "rhythm" method pretty well, which is why we have seven children, and my wife had her last child at age 48. Your rhythm gets better as you get older. I know first-hand that birth control should be illegal. Not getting pregnant is all about the rhythm and women keeping an aspirin between their knees.
What is your most treasured possession?
The keys to my daughters chastity belts.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
I can only imagine that it will be on January 21, 2013, as I sit at home and watch President Obama being inagurated for a second term. The world will be safe for four more years.
Where would you like to live?
Now Colored Man, that is a silly question. You know where I would like to live, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest, Washington, DC. We all have dreams, right? Do you know any genie's that grant wishes?
What is your favorite occupation?
Being the stuff that Dan Savage said I was. That, and being a world-class fool.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My pearly-white teeth.
Who are your favorite writers?
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The only book that I have read since law school, is the Bible. All other books were written by unholy people, who are a bunch of devils.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My 3-year old daughter, Isabella, who has Edwards Syndrome, a genetic disorder that gives her about a 10% life span after one year. When the doctors told my wife and I that our fetus had some serious problems that would be life-threatening, we chose to continue on with the pregnancy, rather then sit down like millions of American parents do everyday and make a private decision to abort the fetus. Instead we went ahead and gave birth to a child who doesn't live the most optimal level of life. What else could we do? We don't believe in abortion even in the case of rape and incest.
What are your favorite names?
Barack, Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. Oh, I almost forgot one....Bo.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A piece of toilet paper or tissue that would be used to clean up santorum.
What is your motto?
I got rhythm, I got rhythm, I got rhythm, who could ask for anything more.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Fooling my fellow Republican voters, and making them think that Americans will vote for my crazy ass to be president. That, and being everyone's God and morality dictator.
What is your greatest fear?
Having to relinquish the key to my daughters chastity belts when they get married.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Well, Colored Man, I can't just chose just one, so I have a few. Hitler, because he was crazier than I will ever be allowed to be. Sadaam Hussein, because he killed all of the infidels, which is something that I would like to do here in America, and finally, anyone who didn't go to college, because college brainwashes students.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Purchasing birth control pills for my wife, since she has a medical condition and needs them for her health. But I do use my health insurance to cut down on the cost.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Talking incessantly and not knowing when to shut-up. I usually just can't answer a question with a simple response. I have a tendency ro go on and on, and really express my true feelings and beliefs, which makes me look ignorant. America has a president whose theology is devilish, and colleges brain- wash students, and sometimes you have to go along with the team, even when you don't agree. I don't know why i wear sweater-vests, but they make me look sexy. Speaking of sex, people should only have sex when they want to have a baby. People should home-school their children. My grandfather was a coal miner, so I am a coal miner's son. Believe it or not, I went to law school. And black people shouldn't be on food stamps. I am like Mitt Romney, I believe that corporations are people, and I don't care about the poor either. See how I just go on and on.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Having an open mind.
On what occasion do you lie?
Whenever I am talking about President Barack Obama.
What is your greatest regret?
That I allowed Dan Savage to define my name, before I had a chance to define it. You can visit http://www.spreadingsantorum.com/ to read how he defines me. He is actually not very far off the mark to be honest.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Anyone who wants their country back.
Which talent would you most like to have?
The talent to lead this country as president.
What is your current state of mind?
Crazy, neurotic, psychotic....definitely in need of some medication. Can birth control pills help me?
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Well, my wife and I have perfected the "rhythm" method pretty well, which is why we have seven children, and my wife had her last child at age 48. Your rhythm gets better as you get older. I know first-hand that birth control should be illegal. Not getting pregnant is all about the rhythm and women keeping an aspirin between their knees.
What is your most treasured possession?
The keys to my daughters chastity belts.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
I can only imagine that it will be on January 21, 2013, as I sit at home and watch President Obama being inagurated for a second term. The world will be safe for four more years.
Where would you like to live?
Now Colored Man, that is a silly question. You know where I would like to live, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Northwest, Washington, DC. We all have dreams, right? Do you know any genie's that grant wishes?
What is your favorite occupation?
Being the stuff that Dan Savage said I was. That, and being a world-class fool.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My pearly-white teeth.
Who are your favorite writers?
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The only book that I have read since law school, is the Bible. All other books were written by unholy people, who are a bunch of devils.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My 3-year old daughter, Isabella, who has Edwards Syndrome, a genetic disorder that gives her about a 10% life span after one year. When the doctors told my wife and I that our fetus had some serious problems that would be life-threatening, we chose to continue on with the pregnancy, rather then sit down like millions of American parents do everyday and make a private decision to abort the fetus. Instead we went ahead and gave birth to a child who doesn't live the most optimal level of life. What else could we do? We don't believe in abortion even in the case of rape and incest.
What are your favorite names?
Barack, Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. Oh, I almost forgot one....Bo.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A piece of toilet paper or tissue that would be used to clean up santorum.
What is your motto?
I got rhythm, I got rhythm, I got rhythm, who could ask for anything more.
Monday, February 20, 2012
The Show-Horse That Refuses To Jump
The Colored Man is one of those people who likes all kinds of different and unusual sporting events. I watched all of the recent Australian Open, and will watch all of the other tennis Grand Slams that come on television. Last week I watched an indoor track and field event. But I really wish that the television folks would show more equestrian events-jumping, dressage, eventing.
The Colored Man has always wanted to learn how to ride a horse, and go on a fox hunt, or jump some fences, or something. For many years I worked with kids who rode horses, some English-style, and others Western-style, and I always seemed to enjoy the English more. I think it was the refinement and the clothes - tweed hunt-jackets and breeches, riding boots, gloves, and the handy riding crop in hand.
Horse-riding can be a dangerous sport, particularly jumping. Remember, a spill while jumping is what landed Christopher Reeves in a wheelchair. Now I am unsure if the horse refused to take the jump, which in horse language, is considered a balk, or whether Mr. Reeves simply lost his control of the horse and his seating and flew off the horse. I am equally unsure why the horse balked at the jump. Could it have been the color of the fencing, or maybe it was the unseen water on the other side of the jump. Maybe Mr. Reeves needed to crack his crop on the horse's rump, and let the horse know that we are fully committed to this jump. There is no turning back. No funny business. Whatever the reason, Superman never rode a horse again.
Many of us are like show-horses. We've been primped and primed for performance, but when it comes time to jump the fence, we balk. We balk at anything that takes us out of our comfort zones, that asks us to jump to an unknown landing. Show-jumping is alot like life. There are patterns that must be maintained, things must be completed in a timely manner, you have to listen and take directions, sometimes you have to lead, but most of all you have to be fearless.
Just like horses, some of us need to be in a constant state of tranquilization, as we feel it makes us perform better. You also have the Olympic-level show-horse that feels it's important to always be seen and heard. Least we forget that there is the horse that refuses to go into a traveling trailer; this is the horse that refuses to travel to other pastures and taste a different grass, sugar cube or carrot.
Horses are considered smart animals, just like us. But, occasionally you have the one-trick pony. The one-trick pony is like some of us who refuse to read, watch anything educational on television, is adverse to the arts, music, culture or anything that will bring knowledge to us, and give us inspiration to jump the fence. Some of us are afraid of being the only show-horse in a pasture of nags, therefore, we don't do things in life because we are afraid of being lonely, and standing out in the crowd.
The bronco-type horse is the horse that is constantly fighting and complaining, hating life, and never, ever happy. Another type of horse is the selfish horse, who balks at sharing their gifts with others-If you ain't beggin', they ain't givin'. One final horse is the my-shit-don't-stink horse - this is the horse who thinks that they are God's gift to mankind, womankind and the horse world.
The Colored Man recognizes himself in several of these show-horses, but one thing that I can tell you is that I don't balk when it comes to a jump. I am all about standing out in a crowd, being the only one in the group, jumping into unknown pastures and tasting life. I approach the obstacle and do my best to sail through and land upright. There have been times that I have jumped and had to stop in mid-air, and times that I have jumped and then wished that I hadn't.
Be warned!!! The Colored Man is ready for the show ring. I am ready for a good dressage competition - LIFE!!!, and I don't need to be whacked with the riding crop to get going. Are you ready?
Tally-Ho!!!!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Liar, Liar, Jan Brewer is on Fire!!!
I know!, I know!!, I know!!!! The Colored Man has been absent for awhile and you all have missed him. And guess what? I have missed you all too. But I have really been focusing on work, and really haven't had anything to write about. That is until I saw the picture of Jan Brewer, the governor of Arizona, pointing her bony-ass finger into the face of President Obama.
Ms. Brewer arrived at the tarmac in Arizona on a mission to supposedly welcome the President to her state, but in actually she arrived looking for a fight, because in her hand was a hand-addressed letter to the President. I don't know what exactly was written in the letter, but knowing Ms. Brewer from her past, it was probably filled with her diatribe about immigration and undocumented residents in Arizona. The boney-fingered Nazi attempted to "play" the President in a public manner before cameras and media outlets, and ended up pointing her finger in the President's face. Of course the next day, she retreated to the old "black men scare me" mentality and claimed that she felt intimitated by the President, and was afraid of what he might do. In actuality the President should have stuffed her finger down her throat and chocked that heifer. But the Colored Man has a little street in him, while the President is pure 100% class and sophistication.
Why is it that our European-American sisters and brothers are always afraid of men of color? I can't tell you the number of times that I have walked into an office building or a school for a meeting, and had the troops come out from all directions to ask what I wanted. I mean, they will come out of their offices and be waiting to greet me at the door, before I even make it to the secretary or receptionist. Oh, and what really gets me, is when I am in the supermarket walking down an aisle, and there are some little European kids in the aisle. Their mother's will look up, and see me, and immediately tell their little babies to come here. I get so tired of my fellow American's staring, and clutching when I walk into a room. It has gotten to the point, that my response depends on their attitudes towards me....if it is funky, then mine is even funkier, and I have noticed that when you get a little assertive with their asses, they have a tendency to change their attitudes and aggressive behavior rather quickly.
Now back to Ms. Brewer....she is just the latest racist who deems it her obligated duty to be disrespectful to the President. Whether it's yelling "you lie" during the State of The Union address, or rejecting an invitation to dinner at the White House, or, speaking meanfully about the First Lady and the First Daughters, or consistently referring to him as Obama versus President Obama, or calling him the "food-stamp President," or painting a crayola picture of him as "un-American, socialist, Muslim, aloof, not an American citizen.... it's never-ending the disrespect that this president has had to endure, and it is time for it to stop. You may not like President Obama, but the office that he holds deserves the upmost respect from one and all. But then again, this is our first black president, and some people refuse to accept the fact that he is the most powerful man in the world. Yes, a black man who is the most powerful man in the world!!!!!!!!! Yes, a black man who is a graduate of one of the most prestigious law schools in the world, Harvard, and who was elected president of the Harvard Law Review. Yes, a black man who eats, sleeps and sits in a house that was built by slave labor, and hosts dignitaries from around the world in the Oval Office.
A week later, Ms. Brewer has changed her story, but only after much condemnation and the fact that the two Republican mayors who accompanied her, did not support her story, or rather her lie. Now she claims the she wanted to discuss Arizona's economic uptick, while the President wanted to talk about the book that she wrote. Trust me, the President is not concerned about her piece of nothing-ness, the she supposedly wrote.
But it seems that Arizona's home-dyed blonde governor, has a taste for lying. Her lastest is that her father died in WWII, when in fact, he died 10 years ago from cancer. Further, she told one story to the press about her meeting with the President last year at the White House, but tells a completely different story in her book. The lesson here is that if she would lie about her father, then you know she will lie about President Obama.
And one more thing....Mitt Romney has a law degree, and Newt Gingrich has a Ph.d, but no one has asked to see their grades, while President Obama is constantly berated for not releasing his grade reports. Oh, but I forgot, Newt and Mitt are white men who have carte blanche - anything and everything that they do and say is accepted as gospel, while President Obama, a man of color, has to constantly prove, re-prove, and be approved.
The only advice that the Colored Man can give anybody is to stand up for yourself, and show them some teeth as my friend JB always says. Just as importantly, is start to use your economic power to let people know who is in charge, which means NO vacations in Arizona. Finally and most importantly, vote in November.
It also might be a good idea to carry a bucket of water, just in case you need to put out the fire of some liar.
Ms. Brewer arrived at the tarmac in Arizona on a mission to supposedly welcome the President to her state, but in actually she arrived looking for a fight, because in her hand was a hand-addressed letter to the President. I don't know what exactly was written in the letter, but knowing Ms. Brewer from her past, it was probably filled with her diatribe about immigration and undocumented residents in Arizona. The boney-fingered Nazi attempted to "play" the President in a public manner before cameras and media outlets, and ended up pointing her finger in the President's face. Of course the next day, she retreated to the old "black men scare me" mentality and claimed that she felt intimitated by the President, and was afraid of what he might do. In actuality the President should have stuffed her finger down her throat and chocked that heifer. But the Colored Man has a little street in him, while the President is pure 100% class and sophistication.
Why is it that our European-American sisters and brothers are always afraid of men of color? I can't tell you the number of times that I have walked into an office building or a school for a meeting, and had the troops come out from all directions to ask what I wanted. I mean, they will come out of their offices and be waiting to greet me at the door, before I even make it to the secretary or receptionist. Oh, and what really gets me, is when I am in the supermarket walking down an aisle, and there are some little European kids in the aisle. Their mother's will look up, and see me, and immediately tell their little babies to come here. I get so tired of my fellow American's staring, and clutching when I walk into a room. It has gotten to the point, that my response depends on their attitudes towards me....if it is funky, then mine is even funkier, and I have noticed that when you get a little assertive with their asses, they have a tendency to change their attitudes and aggressive behavior rather quickly.
Now back to Ms. Brewer....she is just the latest racist who deems it her obligated duty to be disrespectful to the President. Whether it's yelling "you lie" during the State of The Union address, or rejecting an invitation to dinner at the White House, or, speaking meanfully about the First Lady and the First Daughters, or consistently referring to him as Obama versus President Obama, or calling him the "food-stamp President," or painting a crayola picture of him as "un-American, socialist, Muslim, aloof, not an American citizen.... it's never-ending the disrespect that this president has had to endure, and it is time for it to stop. You may not like President Obama, but the office that he holds deserves the upmost respect from one and all. But then again, this is our first black president, and some people refuse to accept the fact that he is the most powerful man in the world. Yes, a black man who is the most powerful man in the world!!!!!!!!! Yes, a black man who is a graduate of one of the most prestigious law schools in the world, Harvard, and who was elected president of the Harvard Law Review. Yes, a black man who eats, sleeps and sits in a house that was built by slave labor, and hosts dignitaries from around the world in the Oval Office.
A week later, Ms. Brewer has changed her story, but only after much condemnation and the fact that the two Republican mayors who accompanied her, did not support her story, or rather her lie. Now she claims the she wanted to discuss Arizona's economic uptick, while the President wanted to talk about the book that she wrote. Trust me, the President is not concerned about her piece of nothing-ness, the she supposedly wrote.
But it seems that Arizona's home-dyed blonde governor, has a taste for lying. Her lastest is that her father died in WWII, when in fact, he died 10 years ago from cancer. Further, she told one story to the press about her meeting with the President last year at the White House, but tells a completely different story in her book. The lesson here is that if she would lie about her father, then you know she will lie about President Obama.
And one more thing....Mitt Romney has a law degree, and Newt Gingrich has a Ph.d, but no one has asked to see their grades, while President Obama is constantly berated for not releasing his grade reports. Oh, but I forgot, Newt and Mitt are white men who have carte blanche - anything and everything that they do and say is accepted as gospel, while President Obama, a man of color, has to constantly prove, re-prove, and be approved.
The only advice that the Colored Man can give anybody is to stand up for yourself, and show them some teeth as my friend JB always says. Just as importantly, is start to use your economic power to let people know who is in charge, which means NO vacations in Arizona. Finally and most importantly, vote in November.
It also might be a good idea to carry a bucket of water, just in case you need to put out the fire of some liar.
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